American family life is more diverse than it has ever been before. The nuclear family is not the only model that we are now seeing. Millions of children now grow up in single-parent families or are raised by grandparents, relatives, or close family friends. These kinship or grandfamilies are resilient and loving and demonstrate that family is about love and care, even in difficult times.
According to the Annie E. Casey Foundation, over 23 million children in America reside in single-parent families—that’s nearly one in three children. The causes of this trend are manifold: people delay marriage, divorce is more prevalent, and unmarried parents have more babies. Most of these children reside with their mothers, yet many reside with fathers or with cohabiting parents. Family structures also vary by race, ethnicity, and whether or not families are immigrants or U.S.-born, mirroring larger social and cultural trends.
More and more, kids are living with grandparents or other kin because their moms and dads can’t take care of them. This may be due to things like drug use, jail time, sickness, or army work. Often, these kin step in suddenly because they love these kids and want to keep them close to family. Research shows that kids cared for by family tend to feel more settled and safe than those who aren’t, as they keep connections with brothers, sisters, and their culture.
But these families face big troubles, too. The main one is being poor. Nearly 30% of families with one parent live in poverty, compared to just 6% of two-parent homes. This lack of money can lead to unstable living places, hard times getting medical help, and fewer chances for learning. Grandparents caring for kids often face these money troubles and health problems, which make their task even tougher.
Legal issues add to the stress. Most kin carers don’t have clear legal rights to make decisions for the kids they look after. This can make it hard to sign kids up for school, get them medical help, or find other services. Getting legal rights over the kids can cost money, take time, and drain energy. While there are some aid programs, they often offer less money and have their hurdles.
Health problems, both in body and mind, are common, too. Both the caregivers and the kids might feel the weight of stress, loss, or trauma from the situations that brought them together. Grandparents may feel guilty, lonely, or ashamed to be raising kids at this stage in their lives.
Yet, these families’ strong spirit shines through. Some single parents find that without a broken relationship, they can focus more on their kids. Grandparent and kin carers often talk about how rewarding the role is, even with the struggles. And kids in these families tend to feel secure and loved, especially when they keep close ties with more relatives and friends around them.
Community matters hugely. As the Exchange Family Center is quick to remind us, “it takes a village to raise a child” is still as true today. Families do best when they have support networks—whether that’s extended family, friends, neighbors, or community groups. Winding those networks up and keeping them intact can be challenging in a busy, mobile world, but deliberate connections can ease the burden and bring a greater sense of belonging.
Public policy is also important. Low-cost, consistent child care is a lifeline to many parents, but it remains unaffordable for millions. The First Five Years Fund found that almost 80% of voters across the country favor increasing federal funding for child care, acknowledging its value for families and the economy. The U.S. Census Bureau has discovered that child care expenses can take up to 19% of a single family’s income for a single child. For single parents, it is even worse at times, up to 75% of their income, thus making them scale back work or drop out of the labor force altogether. These expenses not only hit families today but can have permanent economic impacts.
At the heart of all these discussions is the value of strong, caring relationships. Children do well when they feel loved, secure, and supported, no matter what the family situation. Raising Children Network research indicates that respect, trust, and quality time between the child and carer are the key to healthy development. Small, daily practices—listening, being present, and responding with care—contribute to resilience and a feeling of security.
The dialogue about families in America is changing. Instead of what single-parent or kinship families do not have, more emphasis is being put on what all children need to succeed: love, stability, and access to resources. Families are diverse in their shapes, and all families deserve respect, support, and the resources to be able to provide their children with the best opportunity for a healthy, happy life.