Adverse childhood experiences or ACEs are the main aspect of a person’s life that heavily influences their life journey as well as their lifespan. The incidence of ACEs is not unusual; however, the majority of individuals are not aware of this fact. According to the CDC, about 64% of U.S. adults recall having at least one type of adverse childhood experience before turning 18 years of age. Additionally, one in six adults is reported to have experienced four or more.
The individuals mentioned are survivors of neglect and abuse and have been exposed to a situation of a parent suffering from substance abuse or mental illness, or growing up in an unstable family. According to the CDC, these are some of the things that can disrupt a child’s feeling of safety and security, and the relationships that are among the most important factors for healthy development. Moreover, the signs are prolonged to the time of adulthood, and they are revealed at the later stages of life by the occurrence of depression, heart disease, substance abuse, and other chronic health problems.
In case of physical abuse, neglect, or even emotional abuse, there might be visible signs; however, with emotional neglect, it is still quite difficult to find those signs. As per the Blue Knot Foundation, emotional neglect is likely to remain invisible because it does not lead to the production of marks on the body. Parents who love their kids may still be emotionally neglectful of those kids on purpose or by accident if they fail to understand the child’s emotions or needs. Such children will become adults who are emotionally estranged from their feelings, will be unsure of their needs, and might even consider themselves undeserving of having those needs. The anger caused by this kind of silent suffering can be the reason why it becomes harder to make appropriate interpersonal relationships or do self-care properly in the future.
The idea of toxic stress can help illustrate why such early experiences have such a lasting impact. When children are exposed to persistent adversity with insufficient support, their stress systems can be overactivated. The CDC defines toxic stress as prolonged stress that interferes with brain development, compromises the immune system, and makes it more difficult for the body to regulate itself. Cumulatively, it impacts focus, learning, and decision-making. Physiologically, chronic stress locks the body into survival mode, diverting energy from growth, digestion, and reproduction.
The effects of ACEs do not stop at health. Kids suffering from more than one ACE are more likely to struggle in school, have difficulties with keeping a steady job, as well as encounter relational problems in their adult lives. According to the Annie E. Casey Foundation, kids from single-parent families are generally more at risk, but the real issues that underlie the poor outcomes are poverty, parental stress, and a shortage of protective factors rather than the type of family. What really matters is that the children will be helped by loving, secure relationships and caring environments that can support their healing and thriving.
Recovery from childhood trauma is possible, but it requires awareness, patience, and empathy. The Blue Knot Foundation recommends that adults who experienced emotional neglect as children can heal by learning to recognize and label their emotions, understanding their needs, and countering the old dictum that they do not deserve attention or care. Practicing self-compassion—treating yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a child—can be a powerful step.
The journey from suffering to healing is not easy, but knowing where the pain originates may be the breakthrough. By recognizing these unseen wounds, we can then get to work on shattering injurious patterns and forging more healthy, resilient lives—not just for ourselves, but for those generations that follow us.